The last few weeks have been… crazy.
It has been a roller coaster—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
On my flight back from NYC, I was stuck without internet for six hours. Naturally, I did what I do best.
I overthought (yeah im like really good at it)
I started making notes about everything that had happened over the past few months – or perhaps even the past year. What do I enjoy? What do I dislike? Are there patterns in the way I live?
Somewhere in the middle of all that thinking, I imagined my brain as having two sides constantly playing tug-of-war.
The first is the physical side of the brain.
It is basically a glorified to-do list.
It keeps adding things:
What do I want to do?
What do I need to do?
What should I be doing?
What have I still not done?
Then there is the mental and emotional side of the brain.
That side is full of questions and feelings:
Am I happy?
What is love?
Why am I so tired?
Why do I feel terrible today?
Wait… why do I suddenly feel like a GOD?
We often think that focusing on one of these sides will help us live our best lives.
But it does not really work that way.
The physical side of the brain can function properly only when the mental side supports it.
It is as simple as that.
When your mind says, “I don’t feel good. I’m exhausted. Nothing seems worth it,” even doing your laundry or reading a few pages can feel impossible (been there, done that)
But have you ever had one of those days when you feel unstoppable?
Oh my God, what a feeling.
On those days, I somehow complete a ridiculous number of things in record time. It feels like someone activated a temporary boost inside my brain.
The physical to-do list still matters, of course. Things need to get done.
But the emotional side needs to be supportive enough for us to do them.
So how do we make it more supportive?
Most of us – including me – do not always feel like we have much control over our emotions.
Some mornings, we wake up feeling energetic and excited. On other mornings, we feel sad, tired, anxious, or completely lost.
Life happens.
Emotions are always present, and we humans have an incredible ability to let seemingly small things affect us deeply.
I started wondering what determines where our emotional state goes.
I think a large part of it comes down to two things:
Certainty and uncertainty.
Certainty gives us direction. It helps us feel positive, focused, and goal-oriented. It moves us towards something.
Uncertainty, on the other hand, can drive us absolutely nuts.
Given the choice, most of us would love to live in a completely certain world.
But life does not work that way.
We all have uncertainty.
I was recently speaking with a close friend who was dealing with enormous uncertainty because of her visa situation. She felt stuck in the country, unable to switch jobs freely or make long-term plans.
She did not ask for any of that.
No one asks for uncertainty. It simply happens.
For someone else, the uncertainty may be about finding love.
You meet people. You put in effort. You hope for one outcome, but something completely different happens.
For others, it may be their career, health, family, finances, or future.
Uncertainty takes a mental toll.
And when the mental side suffers, the physical side slows down. The to-do list keeps growing, which makes us feel even worse.
It becomes a cycle:
You feel overwhelmed, so you do less.
Because you do less, more things remain unfinished.
Because more things remain unfinished, you feel even more overwhelmed.
So how do we break that cycle?
By doing something surprisingly simple:
Focus on what you can control. Focus on certainty – and double down on it.
Every time you choose a small action and complete it, you earn a little positive point.
Then another.
And another.
Eventually, those points begin to stack up.
You may think, “But I don’t have any certainty in my life.”
You do. We all do!
Every small action that you consciously decide to take is a form of certainty.
You do not need to move mountains.
Start small.
Today, I will fold my sheets after waking up (not a rocket science)
Tomorrow, I will walk 5,000 steps.
This week, I will cook one proper meal for myself.
I will read five pages.
I will clean one corner of my room.
I will send the message I have been avoiding (that shit is toughhhh)
Do not begin with something impossibly difficult. Choose something small, write it down, and do it.
Then repeat it.
You might be surprised by the power of certainty – and how a few small promises kept to yourself can slowly begin to change your life.
Welcome to my Ted Talk – hopefully you liked it haha!
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