In Between Dreams

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”
– Albert Einstein

There’s this thing that happens to me sometimes.

A fire.

It comes out of nowhere. And suddenly, I feel like I can move the world. Its like, I can literally do anything and everything.

It’s not just motivation. It’s not just excitement.
It’s this deep, almost irrational confidence – like if I really decide to do something, I will figure it out.

I’ve felt this many times. And if I’m being honest, I’ve acted on it too. I’ve taken ambitious bets with people – bets that, on paper, I probably shouldn’t win. But somehow… I usually do.

Which makes me wonder: Is this normal? Does everyone feel this?

I’ve always been a creative person.

I like to paint.
I like playing the piano.
I enjoy editing videos.
I run a YouTube channel. I write. I build tech stuff. The list goes on and on.

At some point, I even questioned if this is a problem.
Too many interests. Too many directions.

But the more I think about it, the more I feel like – no, this is me. Its all these things which define who I am as a person and that is okay.

The real problem isn’t having many interests.
The problem is what happens when inspiration hits.

A few weeks ago, I watched Blue Period.

And something shifted.

Every episode felt like a mirror. The way the character saw art, the way he struggled, the way he questioned himself – it all felt… familiar.

And just like that, the fire was back.

I told myself:
“This is it. I need to double down on art. I want to get really good.”

And I did start painting more. Oils, acrylics, sketches – and lot more.

But then… life happened.

Work. Routine. Energy dips.
The usual.

The fire didn’t disappear – but the consistency did.

Then something similar happened again.

A friend asked me if I was “pitch perfect.”

I didn’t have an answer. But it made me think.

Because when I sit at a piano, something weird happens.

If I know a song in my head, my hands can somehow find it. I don’t think too much. I just… play and its there. I call it my neat party trick lol.

I don’t know what that is. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s something.

Then she recommended Your Lie in April.

And again – the same pattern.

Another story. Another character. Another reflection.

And another fire.

This time, it wasn’t just inspiration. It felt like a challenge.

I realized that somewhere inside me, I had this belief:
“I can’t really play the piano.”

Not properly. Not at a high level.
I don’t read sheet music. I struggle with hand independence.

And the question hit me hard:

Why?

Why can’t I learn it?

So I did what I usually do. I made a bet with another friend.

I said I’ll be able to play Liebesleid (Love’s Sorrow) on the piano in the next 2 years.

It’s a ridiculous piece. Technically demanding. Expressive. Not beginner-friendly at all.

And yet… a part of me believes I can do it.

Not blindly. Not casually.
But if I commit – I genuinely feel like it’s possible.

And that’s where the confusion begins.

Because this isn’t just about piano.

It’s about everything.

Art. Music. Tech. Writing.

Every time I get inspired, it feels like this is the path I should go all in on.

And the question keeps coming back:

Which one do I choose?

Do I try to do everything?
Do I focus on just one?
Will I burn out trying to chase all of it?

I don’t have a perfect answer yet.

But I’m starting to realize something.

Maybe the problem isn’t the fire.

Maybe the problem is what I expect from it.

Every time it comes, I treat it like a signal to change my life completely.
To go all in. To become something new.

But maybe it’s not that.

Maybe it’s just a signal that:
“There’s something here worth exploring.”

Not everything has to become my identity.
Not every spark needs to become a full-blown commitment.

I think I’m learning that I don’t need to choose one version of myself forever. This is important.

But I also can’t chase everything at the same time.

There has to be a balance.

A way to stay consistent… without killing the curiosity.
A way to build something meaningful… without losing the excitement.

For now, I’m choosing something simple.

I’ll pick one thing – and stick with it long enough to see real progress.

Not because I have to give up the rest.
But because I want to prove something to myself.

That this fire…
isn’t just a feeling.

It can actually become something real.

Let’s see where this goes! Even I’m kinda excited to see where all this goes and i think that’s the beauty of life. You never know what comes next 🙂